People have varying reasons for adopting a child or two. Sometimes, couples have a hard time conceiving that they opt to adopt a child instead. Other times, they want to help another child by giving him a lovely home. You may have good intentions for adding a child who’s not your blood into the family. But before you do, know that you need to think hard and multiple times before saying to such a long-term commitment.
Why Many Adoption Stories Don’t End Well
Many kids go into a repetitive cycle where they fail to find a forever home. This is even after getting adopted once, twice, or multiple times. There are times when the kids are the ones with issues, and adoptive parents are left with no choice but to give them up.
Most of the time, adopted kids struggle with their past. This is especially true with kids who are old enough to remember where they came from. The trauma they have been through makes it hard for them to move on and make a healthy connection with caregivers or parents.
According to a study, older child adoptions are more likely to fail. This is since they already carry this emotional baggage that can be very hard to deal with. Other times, the adoption just is not a good match or young and inexperienced parents learned they are not ready for such a huge responsibility just yet.
It is not enough that you know how to raise kids and have the capability of doing so. The last thing you want is to give up your new child just because you thought you are ready when you’re not. You don’t want to give your new adoptive child false hope that you will be his final and lifelong family.
Lessons Every Adoptive Parent Should Learn About
Even before you commit to adopting a child, know that there are things you ought to know first. To increase your chances of a successful life after the adoption, here’s what you need to know first.
-
A Great Attorney Is Worth Every Penny
If you plan on adopting a child, many lawyers like those from Lewis & Matthews, P.C. explain that all prospective parents need to listen to legal advice. They can explain family law and answer your questions before you go through the process. Your attorney can help ensure the adoption process won’t fall apart that you can exercise your rights as the adoptive parents.
-
An Open Adoption Is Encouraged for Many Reasons
These days, adoptive parents are encouraged to embrace open adoption. This is when the adoptive parents and the birth families meet to share information and answer questions during the adoption process. This allows adoptive parents to learn more about their soon-to-be adopted child that can help in raising the kid.
One can get extra support, know more about the heritage and ancestry of the child and his medical and family history. You are also giving your new child a favor by reducing their need to search high and low for their birth parents. This can help them resolve emotional issues in the future.
Know that open adoption can also have its fair share of cons. For one, if one side has any unmet expectations, this can affect the child’s life later on. There may also be boundary issues after the adoption process is completed.
-
Every Adoption Story Is Different
There may be books and publications telling you what you can do to make an adoption work. But since every story is different, you and your new child will be the ones writing your story. No single adoption advice will work for everyone.
There will be times when you and your adopted kids are happy. Other times, you or the kids will be frustrated. Some days will be good while others are not.
Know that adoption can push your boundaries. The process will be overwhelming and invading. You will also be thrown out of your comfort zone at times.
Manage your expectations and find support as needed. Don’t be fooled into thinking that adoption will always be like how they portray it in movies. Remember that when it comes to an adoption, it not about you, but the child.
Your reason for adopting a child or two can be different from that of other adoptive parents. But what is important is that you are willing to commit, be patient, and offer unconditional love to the child you will be welcoming in your home. Know that the process won’t be easy, but you can try to make it worth it. Learn from the lessons other adoptive parents have to share and do your research so you will have a better idea of what to expect.
